Kulture Kaiwa

Staring down at the monstrous waves pounding into the shore, it’s hard not to be curious about what it looks like underneath. Is it still a calm sanctuary for the wildlife that call that section of ocean home, or are they all tucked away under sand and coral to escape the ocean’s wild and uncontrollable rage? 

The wind is too strong to stand outside comfortably, so she remains within the sturdy confines of her Toyota Camry, the only car parked up on the hill. Just a few moments ago she’d been filled with all the anger of the ocean below. It was already 1pm; midnight in Alberta. Work had run late and the short window of time she’d been looking forward to all morning was long gone – those few hours when she woul be able to hear his voice. 

She’d felt desperate for the calming effect of a cigarette, but she’d never purchased her own pack before. There was something about buying a whole pack to yourself that she considered to officially label you a smoker, confirming you have an addiction. That scared her. Plus David hated the idea of her smoking and she didn’t want to disappoint him, so, she settled for the waves instead.Though they were tremendously terrifying on such a stormy day, their consistent rolling and crashing had a hypnotic, calming effect. 

If she closes her eyes she can hear them and it’s like she’s beaneath them, sitting still in the darkness as all the chaos carries on above her, terrorizing the outside world whilst keeping her tucked safely below. The ocean was like the loving Grandparent she never had, holding her tight and melting away all of the turmoil within. It could hide her tears and add them to its collection of endless salty drops, freeing her from the pain of holding them inside her fragile body. The frustrations of the week seeped out of her skin and floated off into the wind as fatigue from this morning’s shift settled into her bones and slowed her breath. 

She was tired. Most days she felt tired. Sometimes she wondered if the fatigue could ever completely take over her thoughts and cause her to actually wander into those waves, unafraid and with no intention of turning back. She only ponders this for a moment before her head flags the thought with bright red and brings her back to the safety of the Camry. Time to go.

Droplets of rain land softly on the windscreen as she pulls slowly back onto the coastal drive. Before long they get heavier, now pelting against the glass in a fashion so constant she has to squint her eyes to see the road ahead.